Master Scripts for Tough Leadership Conversations

\"If someone gets defensive... you can say, let's pause for a second... I want you to know that I have no intention of upsetting you. I just want to be able to talk to you about the things that are going to help you in your career.\"

• Pause the conversation to acknowledge emotions.
• Reassure the employee of your positive intentions.
• Offer to resume the discussion when they are ready.

\"I think it's really important to get in the habit of pointing out what your people are doing well... So the positive feedback should have the same standard... the level of your writing really reflects the level of your thinking.\"

• Provide specific and meaningful positive feedback.
• Recognize and acknowledge achievements regularly.
• Build trust by highlighting both strengths and areas for improvement.

\"He kept thinking, I need to have patience... So what I want to say to everybody is... sometimes you need to have patience, and sometimes you need to look at the process.\"

• Recognize when delays are due to systemic issues.
• Dive deeper to identify and fix process bottlenecks.
• Balance patience with proactive problem-solving.

\"The Personal Operating Manual helps prompt you to talk about working style together... What's your delegation style? Do you want me to check in with you regularly... or do you want me to just let you know when it's done...\"

• Clarify communication preferences among team members.
• Discuss expectations around delegation and feedback.
• Use a personal operating manual to improve workplace harmony.

\"How do you handle conflict?... You might think, oh, I handle conflict like such an enlightened person... But the person who's close to you might say you seethe until you're ready to bring something up...\"

• Recognize your own and your co-founder's conflict styles.
• Discuss preferred methods of addressing disagreements.
• Develop a process for resolving conflicts constructively.

\"I think it's really essential to do some sort of values clarification exercise... Because when you are aligned, it's great... Let's talk through what work-life balance means to you, and let's talk through what excellence means to me...\"

• Identify your core values and share them with co-founders.
• Understand how differing values may impact decision-making.
• Facilitate open discussions to integrate differing perspectives.

\"It turns out that, according to Noam Wasserman, 65% of startups fail because of conflict with founders or the founding team. So it's really essential to get this right...\"

• Discuss values, vision, and conflict resolution early on.
• Address potential disagreements before they arise.
• Regularly revisit these discussions as the company evolves.

\"What really needs to happen very often is, you know, we need to drive towards results. And the way this system is working is not going to drive us towards results... Ultimately, that leads to the demise of your company.\"

• Leaders should prioritize achieving results over pleasing everyone.
• Establish clear expectations to drive performance.
• Aim for a winning culture where success leads to employee satisfaction.

\"What that looks like is, you know, Matilda, I want to chat with you about the way you're interacting with your peers. So, what I'm hearing from them is that you're missing deadlines on a regular basis and not letting them know you're missing the deadlines...\"

• Address issues directly and with specific observations.
• Maintain a neutral tone to avoid defensiveness.
• Focus on behavior and expectations to guide improvement.

\"My three questions to end the meeting are, what did we decide here? Who needs to do what by when? And who else needs to know?\"

• By asking these questions, you ensure everyone is aligned on decisions.
• Assign clear action items with deadlines.
• Identify who needs to be informed, improving communication and execution.